PUB WISDOM
Brass Turns SilverArchive for January, 2008
Large Professor Scores with Late Fireworks
He was in, he was out, and — ultimately — back in. We’re talking about Rancho Mirage homeboy and all-around man-about-town Jaime Las Palmas, whose presence was up in the air until just prior to tee-off. Las Palmas took in Llama Links for the first time with a blend of befuddlement, amazement, skepticism, and — foremost — confidence. His skills are documented and well honed by daily rounds at the club. Would those skills be on display on this day?
It was clear early on that the great equalizer that is Llama Links didn’t have a JLP walkover in mind. Indeed, when the last divot landed, the whole round was turned on its ear, with JLP posessing no skins to speak of and the spoils instead shared among the remaining dark-horse duo, Large Professor and MADDOG. Click here to view the table for the 2008 Llama Links Skins Series.
To his credit, JLP played admirably during his first round on the Llama, consistently racking up tidy pars — no mean feat due to Llama Links’, er, unique course conditions. But bird is the word that earns skins at Llama Links, and it was MADDOG, not JLP, that struck first — on the hardest hole on the course, no less.
The third hole – “Pachinko” – features a sloping, postage-stamp green ringed with danger. Thick bramble shrouds the green right and back, the vaunted Pachinko tree looms on the left, and abundant condo windows beckon errant shots and repair checks. As a topper, the green’s elevated configuration spells trouble for any shots that come up short.
MADDOG was unflappable, undaunted, and undeterred by these intimidating hazards as he stepped into the tee box with three skins riding. He steeled himself, then nutted his tee wedge, flying it within 12 inches of the hole, then tapped in to collect the first three skins.
Throughout the round, Large Professor consistently came up short and left (puzzling — he usually misses right??) and never threatened while Las Palmas and Maddog flirted with opportunities to skin on holes 4-8. Ultimately, no birds flew on those holes, carrying 6 over to 9.
Much to the chagrin of the visitors, Large Professor’s wedge came alive just at the right time, as he stroked it true and put his tee shot on the dance floor, leaving a white-knuckle 5 footer for the birdie while neither JLP or MADDOG got close enough to threaten. The Professor rattled home his one-putt to claim the 6 skins in what essentially amounts to highway robbery.
Pub Wisdom knows LP’s not proud and will take ‘em where he can get ‘em. Better luck next time.
Pepé Le Pew Continues to Stink
Can anyone stem the tide of skunkings? Apparently not Large Professor, who fell victim to yet another 9-0 blanking at the hands of Soft Seven — aka Pepé Le Pew — in the wet, wild, and wooly mano-y-mano affair that was the third event of the 2008 Mif Albright Skins Series campaign.
SS walked away with all 9 skins for the second straight time, making the MASS pecking order all too apparent as he solidifies his position at the top of the table. Actually, due to Jobless Mike Abbott’s limp-wristed absence from the first three events, we’ll have to wait and see how JMA reacts to SS’s stout and skunky start to the season. The smart money still calls for JMA to start bringing Le Pew back to earth as soon as he’s fit enough to grace the E9, but as noted in the recap after event No. 2, it will be no small feat the way SS is stacking up the early-season skins.
The round was once again marked by clean, consistent play on and around the green by Soft Seven, who nailed clutch putts more often than not, and just barely missed several other times.
Large Professor was in a good position for skins on two occaisions, but knocked putts so far to the right that casual onlookers might’ve mistaken him for Ron Paul on a campaign stop.
On a bright note on this stormy day, Pub Wisdom was pleased by the noticable uptick of players on the Mif Albright in recent days, despite the less-than-balmy weather. Also appreciated is the recent TLC apparent on the Mif — fairways!
In all, Pub Wisdom yearns to see JMA’s return, if for no other reason than all these skunks by Soft Seven are becoming damn monotonous. With JMA in the mix, a return for LP to the form that began to emerge at the end of the 2007 season, and the wild card that is Nick O’Teen, 2008 is shaping up to be quite intriguing.
JMA, where are you????
Highlander Betwixt the Sticks for L.A. Galaxy?
Big West Keeper of the Year Charles Alamo, who helped UC Riverside end its season with a 1-1 draw against defending national champions and No. 9-ranked UCSB, was selected by the Galaxy in the MLS draft. Could he man the net for the Galaxy in the near future, rolling with Becks and Landon?
Only time will tell if we will, indeed, remember Alamo. For now, live it up. Good on ya.
Big Trainers to Fill for Scotland’s New Boss
Former Ipswich Town baller and Southampton boss George Burley takes over as the new boss of the Scottish national side, filling the considerable trainers left behind by new Birminghan boss Alex McLeish.
I know how Chelsea fans felt when Mourinho boned out… No matter how good Burley may be in the future, we KNOW what McLeish accomplished. It’s been a little more protracted than the Chelsea situation, which unfolded quickly. Twas sad to see McLeish go, and while the sting is tempered a bit here months down the road, this announcement dredges up the bitterness over his departure more than creating confidence in the new man.
As an aside, what ever happened to Motherwell boss Mark Maghee?? Seemed like his appointment was a foregone conclusion…
At any rate, welcome, George. Now get to work.
Two Gets You Nine
That’s the math for Soft Seven, apparently, as his clutch performance all day culminated in solo pars on 5 (”Hole in One”) and 9 (”What’s Happenin’?”) that delivered all 9 skins to SS on the second event of the 2008 Mif Albright Skins Series. The thorough skunking sees SS to the top of the table and out to a sizable early-season lead on the pack, with 16 total on the Oh-8.
We all know that these hasty mid-Winter rounds, crammed into 45 minutes of darkness at the end of the day, are much ado about nothing in the marathon that is the 2008 campaign — but two consecutive strong showings by SS suggest Jobless Mike Abbott will have some serious catch-up to play before he reels in Soft Seven and starts to pull away from the field – his plan, no doubt. Pub Wisdom recommends JMA ramp up the, er, physical therapy on the wrist in order to return to action as soon as possible — like Thursday.
On the afternoon that marked Nick O’Teen’s 2008 Mif Albright Skin Series debut, the theme appeared to be “Close, But No Cigar” for both O’Teen and Large Professor, who lipped out 3 par putts and came within six inches of holing out on a par chip — all would-be skins. In the end, he couldn’t get off the schnide. That’s not to say this round was a foregone conclusion, however. The final 9-0-0 tally is misleading as level of competition was much closer.
Things first got interesting on 2, “Baffler’s Redoubt.” SS put it on the green off the tee and lag putted within a few feet of the hole. The look on his face after he tapped in for par belied the fact that he’d already mentally bagged these two skins. He looked on with skepticism as LP sized up a tough 15-footer to match SS’s par and carry 3 skins over to “Broken Leg.” The joke was on SS – for now, at least – as LP rocked up and guided it home.
Four skins were on the line at “Optical Illusion” as Nick O’Teen perhaps provided a glimpse of things to come this season as he continues to hone his homespun P-town estilo. His badly shanked tee shot caromed abruptly to the right and came to rest in the debris-strewn no man’s land neath one of the Mif’s many mature trees. He nutted his second shot pure, though, and dropped it on the green where it came to rest about 4 feet from the cup. Suddenly, O’Teen had a relatively straightforoward putt to pocket 4 skins. Stakes, as they say, was high. In the end, he did what anyone bad enough to get excited about skins on an E-9 would do — he slammed it right at the cup so hard that it hit the back edge and kicked straight up and over. No skins.
SS ended the drama by collecting 5 skins on 5 before three more holes of collective mediocrity culminated in the other 4 on “What’s Happenin’?” A well contested game, and well-earned and satisfying success for SS.
Check the Mif Albright Skins Series page for current standings.
Cuban Conguero in Command: Francisco Aguabella
Jazz lives because the music is more important than the business. It lives because you can see and hear people like CuBop/Ubiquity recording artist Francisco Aguabella up close. You can participate in the show, not just watch/listen. You’re there. You can rock up to members of the pantheon at intermission and rap with them.
Jazz lives because there are places like Steamers, a jazz club in Fullerton, at which I was pleasantly surprised — nay, blown away — by the experience. In “the city,” you’d pay $12-24 to see one set of someone the caliber of Francisco Aguabella, not to mention his kick-ass band. That set’d be about an hour long, maybe a little longer. At Steamers, two full sets for $8 — on a Saturday night?!? That is SOLID. Seriously, the OC has one of the coolest, most rootsy establishments in the entire So Cal jazz scene.
Hat’s off to Terence Love, the owner of Steamers, who takes pride and interest in every detail it seems. The food rocks, the help rocks. Easy ins and outs… Can’t wait to go back. Saw Banda Brothers, Poncho Sanchez, Joey DeFrancesco, and others on tap. The real deal.
Jazz lives because jazz lovers appreciate their players more and more, instead of cycling through “stars” faster than Britney goes through rehabs. Francisco’s not a young pup, but he commands the congas. He’s a pleasure to listen to — it’s just and right that he plays to a packed house in Fullerton.
Jazz lives through players like Mr. Aguabella. Jazz lives, apparently, at Steamers.
Roddy on Rampant Rangers
“A domestic treble (Rangers 2-0 Dundee United), a £700 million reconstruction of Ibrox and its surroundings, a player who blithely turns down a £9 million move to the Premier League. Suddenly, in the midst of bleak midwinter, shafts of warm sunlight are beaming down upon Rangers fans.
One should say at once that, of the three talking points mentioned above, the most substantial is the first. Rangers have overtaken Celtic with a game in hand - against St Mirren tomorrow night - which, if they win, will put them four points clear of the defending champions. January could see them maintain pole position in the title race, reach the CIS Cup final and stride on in the Scottish Cup…”
Read the rest of Roddy Forsyth’s column in the Telegraph here.
Sweet Seven for Soft Seven
Well, well, well. The first event of the 2008 Mif Albright Skins Series almost didn’t take place due to Soft Seven’s persistent and multi-pronged whinging. But, typically, looking back, I am sure SS is glad he finally crumbled and, grumbling, loaded his clubs into the Crushed Dog-Hair Transport Vehicle. When all was said and done, SS clocked seven skins to Large Professor’s two to assume the spot at the top of the table to open up the 2008 season. He’s the Daniel Chopra of the Mif.
Before we get to the action, Pub Wisdom would like to share SS’s top-five excuses for not playing . (Due to space limitations, we could not include all of SS’s excuses — rest assured there were many more -PW):
1) It’s raining buckets, bro, buckets. I’m looking out my window right now.
2) They close the Mif when it rains.
3) Dude, look at the radar — there’s no way.
4) I’ve got to hammer out a powerpoint, bro.
5) I don’t want to get sick from exposure.
Okay, it was slated to rain heavily that day, but the Skins god smiled on us, providing a perfectly timed 45 minutes of respite in which we could get the round in. It was raining on the drive over, stopped as we warmed up, then started up again as darkness fell after we’d hit our tee shots on 9! Amazing.
I rocked up to the starter, who was shocked we wanted to play the Mif in such conditions and tried to talk me out of it three times (Why on earth he is discouraging people to play, bad conditions or otherwise, is beyond me give that playership and revenues are down overall and the Mif specifically is under pressure — take the $20, man!). Once he realized we were serious, I asked if he was amenable to a 2-for-1 discount on account of the rain. “Not quite,” he responded, putting my Jackson in the till.
On the course, it was a straight drubbing, with SS hitting several greens off the tee while LP’s game digressed into infantry golf — left, right, left, right. As predicted on Pub Wisdom prior to the round, wet conditions with calm winds enabled SS to shoot for the pin (ball would literally auger into the green with little or no bounce/roll at all.
SS’s flat stick was also working, with several holed putts, a couple long ones on a true line that died 4-6 inches from the cup, and even a birdie on 2.
The round was blessed from on high, destined to be played despite the weather and SS’s impressive whinging. In the end, it was a great evening. Pub Wisdom admonishes SS — and all of us, really — to worry less about why things can’t happen and focus on how to overcome. Git r done.
Travesty at Stamford Bridge
Our train filled with blue as it lumbered along the London underground towards Stamford Bridge. As we emerged from Fulham Broadway Station, it was a cold, crisp, sunny afternoon in west london. We were ready to take on our worthy vistors from the north, Newcastle United. Hopefully the actual Chelsea players in this momentus and costly match were too.
A Special Report by Rocket Morton
I planned to drink several pints. This was necessary to keep warm due to even colder temperatures in our skyway seats. But, as I settled into my seat, lo and behold, I spied a giant lineup of space heaters across the terrace. Enough to warm the entire upper stand. Thank you, Roman. I drank the pints anyway.
As I watched the players warm up, the man next to me was with his son. They had meat pies and something that looked like a churro, or maybe it was a hot dog. Meat pies smell incredible on a cold day. And to think I could have had one with my pint earlier. Instead, I had fallen to the temptation of the street cheeseburger only minutes before. Next time, meat pie.
This game was going to be played without Frank Lampard, John Terry, Makalele, Carvalho, Cech, Ashley Cole and Cudicini. I tried to get my fellow supporters to start singing “Oh..No…Hilario,” but no one would join in.
Michael Essien was in, Mikel was in, big man Alex would be shoring up the back and covering up for Ben Haim’s gross errors. Joe Cole and Kalou must be counted on to take us to victory.
The entire stadium let out the loudest cheer, by far, for a Newcastle player. He was back, the faithful servant, Damian Duff. It felt like the old days, well actually just a few years ago, seeing the Irish international run all over the field. Bridge and Beletti would have their hands full locking down the wings this icy afternoon. I must also say, my level of excitement plummeted when I realized that Newcastle would be led up front by Obafemi Martins, a particularly deadly striker. The small corner section of Geordies filled the bridge with song. I felt a bit uneasy when the opening whistle blew.
At the half time whistle, with Chelsea up 1-0 on an Essien goal, our entire stand emptied to get beer and more pies. To my surprise there was no line. Beer and wine were distributed with such ease and efficiency. Everyone laughed when they televised our end of the stand only to see there was not a soul left out there. We watched the replay of Essien’s first half goal from every angle. It was, in fact, a garbage goal. All credit to Essien — everybody likes players who take out the garbage. OK, finish that pint and get back out there for the second half start.
The second half was a travesty. Nicky Butt fell down into the ball, which in turn went into the goal. 1-1. The Matthew Harding stand went silent. The silence, however, was broken by the visiting Geordies singing, “You’re not singing anymore!” Chelsea fans errupted. The buzz was back. Perhaps this might turn out OK — there was still plenty of time for the Blues to nick a goal. What occurred next was indeed a travesty — even worse than Newcastle’s equalizer. But this particular travesty actually benefitted Chelsea.
I can say it – we were sitting right on the line — Kalou was offsides. The winning goal should not have stood. The supporters at my end of the stand went silent. When the goal counted, people went nuts. I looked around and every person was smiling, just like they got a surprise Christmas present several days late. More like, they just got away with stealing a Christmas present. I guess they did.
Damian Duff was replaced by Viduka in the 89th minute. He went off to loud cheers and applause from the adoring supporters. When the final whistle blew, it was announced on the loudspeaker that West Ham had beaten Manchester United. Chelsea had closed the gap a few points. Mikel didn’t get a red card. More Christmas presents for everyone.
Windy, Wet Conditions = Skins for O’Teen?
In the birthplace of golf, stormy conditions are the norm — and instead of high, lofted draws or fades or other fancy ball flights, shots are played lower as a result. Less loft = less chance for the wind to mess with your ball.
As we look to the first Skins Series encounter of 2008, the wet and windy conditions in which the round will likely occur may well play into the hands of Nick o’Teen, whose antiquated equipment and submarining ball flight could serve him well enough to slap him some skins.
If it’s wet but not windy, the soggy greens will beckon pinseeking efforts, which may spell success for Soft Seven, who’s recorded a hole-in-one at the Mif before.
Speaking of SS, the wuss-o-meter is already chirping as homeboy claims wet weather may postpone the round. Pub Wisdom says stay positive and a nice sunny patch may follow.
Jobless Mike Abbott will be missed, and to add to the injury report, a door-slammed index finger may push Large Professor’s already dodgey shot-making to the outright hazardous range.
All in all, it should be an interesting way to open the 2008 campaign. Batten down the hatches and bring your A-game.
